


Taking Advantage

by rickbisexualgrimes



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergent, Humiliation, M/M, Minor Violence, Negan (Walking Dead) Being an Asshole, No Romance, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-01 02:26:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13284981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rickbisexualgrimes/pseuds/rickbisexualgrimes
Summary: "The man was a snake slithering in the grass, getting closer so it could swallow its next meal. And Rick was the prey. He was always the prey when it came to Negan."





	Taking Advantage

**Author's Note:**

> it's likely that no one will care for this tidbit of info but this was a WIP for so long but it's finally finished!

"Please..please don't." Rick pleaded before getting shoved against the wall. His breath was hitching the more Negan got close. The man was a snake slithering in the grass, getting closer so it could swallow its next meal. And Rick was the prey. He was always the prey when it came to Negan.

 

  
"Last I fucking checked I own you." Negan breathed. "Unless I haven't communicated that properly."

 

  
Soon their faces were close together, so close that Rick could see how alluring Negans eyes were. Almost hypnotic in a way.

 

  
Rick gulped down his fears and maintained eye contact, "I'm yours...I belong to you."

 

  
"Point one for you Rick, you even get a little cherry on top of your pie. Now back to what I want from you."

 

  
"Wh-what do you mean? We already gave you our tribute."

 

  
Negan narrowed his eyes, "Are you fucking stupid or have I not made it obvious that I wanna fuck you? I'm gonna go with the first option."

 

 

"Why?"

 

 

"Are you seriously asking me that question? Have you seen yourself in the mirror? You're a hot piece of ass."

 

 

Right after hearing those words Rick felt extremely objectified like he was something to take from and discard later. And that made a sick feeling curdle inside his stomach, twirling around, making him want to puke.

 

 

  
"Here's the deal, Rick. If you let me inside that sweet ass of yours..I'll go easier on your pathetic community." Negan poked his tongue between his teeth.

 

 

Rick sputtered a little bit, "Excuse me?"

 

 

 

"Basically a sex for services type thing. Only by services I mean not killing everyone and taking a little less than I have been."

 

 

It was one thing to be talked to like an object but to be treated like such was even worse. Rick didn't know if he should take his chances and punch Negan right in the stomach or agree to the whole thing.  For a moment he stood there with a dumb founded look on his face, just waiting for the 'a-ha! i got you' moment.

 

 

 

The moment where this whole situation would be ruled out as a joke wasn't coming so Rick attempted to retreat. Before he could leave the direct vicinity he was stopped. Negan looked at him with pure lust on his face and a sort of seriousness that screamed danger.

 

  
Rick gulped visibly but didn't back up, "Can you move outta the way?"

 

 

  
"You sure that's your answer?" Negan said lowly. "I'll give you some time to think it over, maybe even run it by that hot girlfriend of yours. I won't say there's no rush on figuring it out because I don't have any fucking patience."

 

 

  
And he knew that all too well given how Negan seemed to not have any time for anyone but himself. How the man ran a whole community and a whole army was beyond Rick.

 

 

Those hazel orbs were staring holes into him again so Rick gave him a quick reply.

 

 

"That's fucking great, Rick! I know you'll say yes but I'm just excited to hear the words from those pretty pink lips of yours."

 

 

Without saying another word Negan just exited the area, almost as if he was giving him some room to breathe. Rick smashed his fist against the closest wall to him which caused his knuckles to bleed a little.

 

 

* * *

 

Rick did take his time when it came to considering what to do and he decided to take the offer. He didn't expect the response he got from Michonne. She seemed to understand why he would agree to it but wished he wouldn't. But he didn't seem any other way that didn't end in blood shed.  

 

Everyone else on the other hand were surprised or pissed off that he would even do it. Rick tried to get everyone to understand that it was just going to be sex. Which he was glad that it wouldn't be marriage or a committed relationship.

 

 

Once Negan finally rolled around to come pick up the tribute things were tense. A lot more tense than usual given Rick was going to be screwing the man who had taken so much already. He waited by the gate and opened it for the Saviors like he sometimes did.

 

 

The older man made a beeline for him immediately and didn't even hesitate to get close. All of the Saviors were standing there watching them closely, some of them were snickering even. Rick pretended not to notice the obvious humiliation tactics and looked Negan right in the eye.

 

  
"What's your answer?" Negan purred seductively. "Lemme hear you say it, Rick."

 

  
"Yes, but under one condition." Rick looked over at the Saviors who were snickering in the background.

 

  
"I can't say I promise to uphold whatever this fucking condition is but shoot."

 

  
"You don't get to parade me around like a prize, you don't talk to Michonne unless it's necessary and you leave everyone else alone. Otherwise the deal's off."

 

  
Negan raised both his eyebrows up like he was thoroughly amused. "Holy fucking shit! You've got a big set on you to speak to me like that. Those seem reasonable but the only problem is I don't fucking care about what you're asking. I think you need to convince me to agree to those terms."

 

  
"Sure, we can go somewhere and I'll -" Rick started to speak but two long fingers pressed against his lips.

 

 

  
"Did I say to convince me in private? Everyone's gonna know that you're my little slut on top of being my little bitch. Now why don't you be a good for me and gimme some fucking sugar."

 

 

  
This was going to be his life for however long Negan was in control so Rick forced himself now to get used to it. Rick planted his hand on the back of his neck then brought Negan close. The kiss started off as slow then rapidly turned into something that Rick knew was meant to humiliate him.

 

 

Rick tried not to break Negan's hand when he felt it on his ass and broke the kiss.

 

 

This was some type of game that he didn't want to play but he didn't have much choice. All their freedom was being dangled like a steak in front of an animal. Rick could hear some of the Saviors hooting, laughing their asses off and not so subtle whispering.

 

 

"We should really seal the deal somewhere." Negan whispered low enough for only them to hear."Just so I know you're being serious."

 

 

"Not at my house." Rick said sternly, he made it clear with his facial expression that he wasn't fucking around either. He wouldn't subject Michonne or Carl with possible loud moaning.

 

 

Negan reached around to the back of his head then pulled on the ends of his curls. "Are you telling me what to fucking do again? I technically own your fucking house."

 

 

  
"I won't fuck you in my house, end of story."

 

 

  
It felt like a constant battle for decency when it came to Negan because the man had none whatsoever. Rick felt nervous even thinking about sex with Negan. His minimal experience was already bad enough considering the last time he kissed a man was before he married Lori. And thinking about Shane would make the time worse so he stopped himself.

 

 

  
He got ripped out of his thoughts when Negan released the hold he had on his hair. For someone who didn't look that strong - he was. Rick always sized up his enemies and Negan would put up a fair fight if it came down to it.

 

 

  
Rick waited quietly while Negan barked at his Saviors to go get the shit they came for and wait at the gate afterwards. When the older man pivoted to face him it made him freeze. No words were exchanged, the only thing Negan did before they started to walk was gesture for him to lead the way. Since only a handful of people even lived in Alexandria it wasn't hard to find empty houses. You could literally find a strip of empty ones and walk inside them like an open house.

 

 

  
An ugly feeling started to course through his body when Negan got touchy during the walk. Rick wasn't naive in what sealing the deal meant, he was just overly nervous. He started to sweat even more than he normally did and Negan didn't care. Those long fingers that usually gripped Lucille were all over him. Rick quirked his brow when he realize that Lucille wasn't with Negan this time.

 

 

  
He wouldn't dare ask where the infamous murder bat was because it wasn't his business. And not only that but mentioning the mat would likely spark up an annoying conversation. Which meant more than likely Negan would bring up how he killed Glenn and Abraham with 'her.'

 

 

Rick stopped in front of one of the empty houses, it looked like almost every one along the street. The outside of it was relatively plain, the deck was nice and not scuffed up. From what Rick could tell most likely no one lived there or if they did it wasn't for long. He walked up the stairs with Negan trailing behind him steadily. How the man was almost completely silent despite being a loud person was still a mystery.

 

 

  
They entered the house that was very cookie cutter in a way. All of the decor was similar to what Rick had at his place but almost nothing occupied the space. Aside from a few fake family photo's and furniture like everyone else had. Rick felt hands intruding his body again but tried to ease into the feeling. The only person who touched him like this was Michonne.

 

 

  
Rick suddenly got slammed into one of the walls savagely and the breath was knocked out of him. One hand wrapped tightly around his throat and a menacing look was on Negan's face.

 

 

 

"This better not be a fucking joke, Rick. If you got someone hiding in this house just waiting to get the jump on me I swear to fucking god." Negan growled.

 

 

"Let go of me." Rick choked out and managed to glare despite his lack of air.

 

 

"I don't fucking think so! It's funny how no one from the piss patrol came with you to meet me at the gate. Maybe it's just me being paranoid as fuck but normally that girl Rosita is close by. You got her in this house right now,Rick? Waiting til I'm vulnerable so she can try to shoot me..again."

 

 

  
For a brief moment Rick actually wished he had planned that in the first damn place. He used the one hand that wasn't trying to hold Negan back to swing a weak punch at him. As soon as Negan released him to recover from said punch he scrambled in the direction of the kitchen. It didn't take long for the older man to follow close behind and punch him square in the jaw. Rick somehow found himself circling around the island that was in the middle of the kitchen. This likely meant the deal was over which Rick didn't mind that so much.

 

 

 

Rick didn't have his gun on him but there were plenty of appliances that could be used to hurt him. When Negan raced towards him he moved out of the way so the older man was charging at nothing. Rick chuckled at how stupid Negan looked for once, instead of him making a mockery of someone else.

 

 

 

"I shoulda known you weren't smart enough to think of a plan like that. You know you're the reason I've got you by the fucking balls right? You can't blame anyone else but yourself for that shit."

 

 

  
"Do you ever shut the hell up?" Rick quipped with an eye roll.

 

 

  
"Nope!" Negan flung towards him so his lower back was pressed hard against the counter.

 

 

  
Rick tried to push him off but he was held in place, "What the hell are you doin'? First you choke the hell outta me for nothin' and now you're calm."

 

 

  
"Don't play that shit, prick. You woulda done the same shit to me if our roles were reversed."

 

 

  
Every time that Negan insinuated that they weren't that different it irked Rick beyond belief. How could someone that sadistic be anything like him? Rick couldn't think any deeper about it because he noticed something firm was against him. His eyes went as wide as saucers when he realized that Negan was hard. Who the hell gets that turned on after a fight?

 

 

  
Rick tried not to look at Negan's face, "Are you fuckin' serious right now?"

 

 

  
"Is it really that much of a shock that I'm hard for you right now? I mean fuck isn't that what we originally came here to do? The deal's still on, for me at least." Negan thrusted a little bit against him.

 

 

The feeling was sort of dizzying for Rick but shamefully he felt turned on by the older mans gesture. He let Negan rock against like he was the shore and Negan was the treacherous wave. When Negan moved away he thought it might be over until he twisted him around. Rick felt hands on his ass like earlier but the touch was more aggressive and lusty.

 

 

Rick let the older man touch him in any way he wanted because secretly it felt good to be handled like this. "Go ahead."

 

 

  
"Excuse me?" Negan didn't have any anger to his voice, only confusion.

 

 

  
"Go ahead and take my pants off, fuck me here 'cause I refuse to make this more intimate than it needs to be." Rick stated seriously.

 

 

  
"Well well well, looks like I'm gettin' what I want and so are you." Negan said in a dangerously low voice.

 

 

  
Rick tried not to get too angry because that meant treading dangerous waters again. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

 

 

  
"Watch your fucking mouth, Rick." Negan sing-songed. "I'm giving you fair warning, **again**. You only speak when I say you can, hell, I might even control when you fucking cum in this instance. That's how this shit works."

 

 

  
"Sure." Rick said through gritted teeth.

 

 

  
"Now repeat after me: I'm your slut, Negan."

 

 

  
"I'm your slut, Negan."

 

 

  
Negan chortled then went back to seriousness, "My ass belongs to you, my mouth belongs to you, I belong to you."

 

 

  
"My ass belongs to you...m-my mouth belongs to you, I belong to you." Rick forced the words out like he was being choked,again.

 

 

"At least I know you're smart enough to follow simple fucking instructions. Which by the way since we're playing by my rules - you'll have a lot of shit to follow. I've thought about you a lot since we've met. That night in the RV coulda been totally different if you got on your knees for me instead of trying to kill me. If you offered up that mouth instead of being a sassy little fucker. Which is undoubtedly your problem, Rick. You make all these goddamn threats that don't add up to much 'cause you're dealing with something different. All those assholes you faced before were nothing like me."

 

 

  
When Rick thought the rant was over, he was really wrong because Negan just kept talking as he shoved Rick's pants to his ankles. "This won't be some quick fuck where I bang you hard against this kitchen counter. Now get on your fucking knees and open your mouth."

 

 

  
Rick complied with the orders and got on his knees and opened his mouth.

 

 

  
"Keep that mouth open and don't even bother stroking yourself while I fuck your mouth, understand?" Negan got his pants unzipped then pulled his length out from his black briefs.

 

 

This was the first time he would ever be sucking someone off but Rick knew the basics of it all. He experimentally put his mouth over Negan's head and swirled his tongue along the slit. Since he didn't hear any groans of displeasure he kept going until he was ready to put his mouth all the way over. Rick bobbed his head over the thick length then his head was pushed all the way forwards. He gagged over Negan's dick but didn't bother pulling away. That was when the asshole started fucking into his mouth like there was no tomorrow.

 

 

Rick gagged hard and he was slobbering all over the place but that seemed to encourage Negan more. A loud cackle came out of the older mans mouth which made Rick roll his eyes. Of course he would find it amusing, of course he would find any way to humiliate him.

 

 

His mouth was definitely feeling sore from the rapid movement and thrusting but Rick pushed through. Eventually Negan stopped fucking his mouth just as he was apparently ready to 'bust his nut.'

 

 

Rick didn't wait for the older man to tell him to bend over, he got up off his knees then leaned over the island.

 

 

  
"I didn't bring any condoms, not that there's much in heavy supply nowadays. " Negan explained in an almost apologetic tone.

 

 

  
"It's okay, I guess." Rick shrugged.

 

 

The only thing that Rick was actively thinking about was how Negan would probably just shove it in. Yet he proved him wrong by saying that he did have some lube but not a lot of condoms considering they were scarce. Rick waited for fingers to be inserted inside him and when they finally did he hissed. The stretch didn't sting too much, in fact Rick got used to it.

 

 

Pleasure spread throughout his body as Negan probed his fingers deeper into him. It was when Negan hit his prostate that his legs shook and buckled a little bit. Rick tried to keep himself steady but he failed immensely.

 

 

Negan hummed from behind him, "Did you forget that it's me making you feel good darling? I bet you fucking did. Probably tried to pretend that I was Daryl or whoever else wants to fuck you. Which I believe is a long list, a very long list."

 

 

  
Instead of snapping back at him, Rick refrained. He didn't want to give him the satisfaction of disobedience because that meant punishment. Rick stuck his ass out a bit more to urge Negan to just fuck him already. That seemed to put things full steam ahead since Negan got his length lathered up by the sounds of it. A weird tinge of anticipation hit Rick for a moment until he stopped it.

 

 

  
No way in hell, Rick thought angrily before feeling Negan enter him. Since he was loosened up a little bit after being fingered he wasn't in pain like he thought he would be. There was some stretching but the feeling of being full was the most noticeable. Rick braced himself on the surface of the island as best he could while Negan fucked him. At first the thrusts were slow and hard then they become faster.

 

 

  
Rick tried really hard to not make any noise while Negan pounded into him. Though once Negan hit his sweet spot again it was hard not to yelp with pleasure. He smacked his hand down onto the smooth surface of the island. And he heard Negan chuckling behind him as he thrusted even deeper inside.

 

 

  
"Fuck." Negan grounded out. "Y'know I'm indecisive about whether or not I'm gonna cum inside you or all over that pretty face of yours. Which would you prefer? Oh who the fuck am I kidding, you don't get a choice in this situation."

 

 

  
"I never get much of a choice." Rick whispered to himself.

 

 

  
They fucked for a little while and Rick got laid out on the island for the remainder of it. He wrapped his legs around Negan but tried to keep his eyes closed so he didn't have to look at him. Rick wanted to disappear and be somewhere else for once. Somewhere that walkers didn't exist, where the world was back together and everyone he loved was happy.

 

 

Before Rick realized it he came pathetically without being touched and got pulled off the smooth surface. When he got pushed to his knees he was greeted with a heavy squirt of cum all over his face (almost in his damn eye.)  Then Negan spread the rest of it on his lips. As if it didn't already feel humiliating enough, he got told to get dressed so they could go outside. Rick got his clothes back on as quickly as he could then went to wipe the stickiness off his face. His wrist was wrapped tightly and he gave Negan a bewildered look.

 

 

 

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, huh? I'm gonna make you walk outside with this all over your face." Negan patted his cheek with his other hand. "That way everyone will know exactly what happened here. Don't worry if your kid or any kids walk by I'll wipe it off."

 

 

  
Rick winced when Negan pulled him out of the house by his wrist."Don't make me do this. Please."

 

 

  
Of course Negan didn't listen to him or even acknowledge that he didn't want everyone to see him like this. Almost no one walked around when the Saviors came to pick up so Rick thought he was in the clear. That was until Gabriel was headed towards them and Negan loosened his grip.

 

 

  
The priest seemed caught off guard especially by what Rick's face was covered in. Rick tried to communicate with his eyes that he wanted him to keep walking. Instead of doing so Gabriel just stood there and looked at Negan.

 

 

  
"I'm going to say this once and you can punish me if you want. I think this is bit..crass..even for someone like you. Would it be so difficult for you to allow Rick to wipe his face off and leave him be for today?" Gabriel asked calmly.

 

 

  
Rick blinked and almost attempted to tell Gabriel to not get involved any further until Negan started to laugh loudly.

 

 

  
"Ho-ly shiiiiit! You have got nuts of steel by asking me some shit like that." Negan exclaimed with a massive smirk on his face.

 

 

"Please, please don't hurt him." Rick pleaded pathetically. He couldn't be responsible for Gabriel being beaten to death in the middle of the street.

 

 

  
"Did I fucking say I was gonna hurt him? No, I didn't. So I'm gonna let good ole Gabe walk on by without so much as a scratch on him. And as for you Rick, I'm pretty much done with you for today. We sure had some fun, didn't we?"

 

 

  
Rick nodded quickly to indicate that he didn't want to get into this discussion in front of Gabriel.

 

 

  
"Are you gonna answer me instead of nodding like a fucking idiot." Negan cupped his ear in a dramatic way.

 

 

  
"We had fun, I-I enjoyed myself." Rick responded back and received a sloppy kiss in return in which he reciprocated in similar fashion.

 

 

  
"You kiss like such a slut, anyways I've gotta go 'cause I got wives to fuck and supplies to get unloaded. I'll see you next week darlin'." Negan said before walking back from where they came.

 

 

Rick waited until Negan was completely out of sight and was bothering someone else walking by. His fingers folded into a fist that he so badly wanted to drive into Negan's face right then. Whoever was closing the gate would have to deal with him for however long it took them to leave. Even though Rick hated leaving anyone alone with him, they wouldn't be in danger.

 

 

  
He wiped his face off with his shirt sleeve, he grimaced when he had to roll the sleeves up so no one would see. Rick started to walk off until Gabriel told him that he didn't need to be alone. Instead of taking Gabriel up on the offer to have company, Rick said it was okay. It really wasn't okay though because he was ready to break down and being alone wouldn't help. But he always suffered through things so why would this situation be any different?

 

 

When Rick got back home he slammed the door shut without a care. Judith wasn't home because as far as he could see Carl and Michonne were somewhere else. He shed his sticky shirt and tossed it into the dirty clothes pile. A shower seemed like too much energy so he sat on his bed with no shirt on. Eventually instead of seeing if anything needed to be done he drifted to sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

Rick woke up after being tapped on the shoulder by Michonne.

 

She was standing there with her hands on her hips and a worried look on her face. Sometimes Rick pictured they were in a different place, that they never drifted apart. After everything that happened with Abraham and Glenn..things were different.

 

 

"I'm sorry if you needed to sleep but I'm just worried. You never sleep during the day like this and Gabriel sort of told me what happened." Michonne wiped a stray curl on his forehead.

 

 

Rick swallowed hard and managed to get the words. "We had sex. Only it wasn't forced, I - I enjoyed some of it and I feel ashamed."

 

 

He couldn't bear to look at Michonne in the eye because what if she was disgusted like he was? What if she would never even think about being with him again? Rick wouldn't blame her if she cut the remaining chord.

 

 

"I need you to look at me while I say I'm about to say because you need to hear it." Michonne placed her palm against his face.

 

 

 

Rick turned to look at her but there wasn't disgust in her eyes or shame. "What is it?"

 

 

  
Michonne casually stroked his cheek, "You're such an important part of the new world and without you we wouldn't be here. This thing with the Saviors is just another bump in the road. We will find a way to beat this or make a better life for all of us. You don't have to do what you're doing to show us that you care what happens."

 

 

  
"If I don't do this then Negan wins, he just..wins. This last tribute was the last full on that he'll be takin' from us and that's progress. I'll do whatever I have to do no matter what it costs me. As long as you, Carl, Judith, Daryl and everyone else we love is safe. "

 

 

  
"I understand why you're doing it but none of us want this for you."

 

 

  
Rick nodded but looked back down at his hands that were shaking. "Just don't worry 'bout me, okay?"

 

 

  
"I'm always gonna worry about you, Rick. Even if we never get back to what we were, I still love you and I'll always be here for you when you need me." Michonne smiled faintly.

 

 

  
"Thank you. I mean it."

 

 

  
"You're welcome and you can say no but if you need me to stay in here tonight - I can."

 

 

  
Rick was in no way shocked that she would offer that and he missed having her there at night. He told that he'd like that only if she didn't feel pressured to. When she exited the room to go feed Judith, he felt less hopeless for a moment.

 

* * *

 

"That's right, put that ass to good use for me." Negan moaned quietly into Rick's ear.

 

  
Rick kept looking from his left and right to make sure no one would see them. When the coast seemed to be clear he bounced back on Negan's dick with every thrust. At this point he knew what Negan enjoyed most. And if giving him what he enjoyed most would help then he'd do it.

 

 

During the beginning of whatever they were doing it was hard to deal with. Rick had often spent countless nights not being able to sleep (other than when Michonne offered to sleep in the bed.) But now he'd grown overly accustomed to their deal and what came along with it. He let himself feel some of the pleasure and moaned when Negan brushed against his prostate.

 

 

The older man picked up the pace but was being strangely intimate for once, which made no sense to Rick. His mouth was soon covered with Negan's gloved hand as Negan repetitively hit his sweet spot. Rick cried out into the black glove and pushed his worn out boots into the ground. The air was chill for once so neither of them were sweating buckets. From what Rick could tell it was mid afternoon since the sun was shining down so heavily.

 

 

Rick felt grateful Negan was making them do this near the buildings that nobody ever went around. He felt a few more thrusts until Negan came inside him with a roar that hopefully no one heard. Rick came a few moments after but it was down into the grass.

 

 

His pants weren't taken down all the way so he just pulled them up and buttoned them back.

 

 

After they were finished was usually the worst part for Rick since it was usually some bullshit banter. Instead of that this time Negan just smirked at him like he was thinking something but didn't want to say it.

 

 

Rick stared at him with an obvious annoyed expression on his face. "What?"

 

"You bounced back on my dick so hard I almost thought you'd fucking break me." Negan let out a really wheezy type laugh.

 

"That's all you had to say? That I almost broke your dick?" Rick didn't know why he was so shocked given Negan always said stupid shit.

 

 

"What the fuck else did you expect me to say? Some heartfelt shit? You should know me better than that."

 

 

"Why would you think I'd want that from you anyways?"

 

 

Negan feigned sadness and put his hand on his heart, "That really fucking hurts y'know."

 

 

  
"I need to get back so I can see if you really did hold up to your end of the deal." Rick kicked himself internally for even saying that because Negan had been lately. They hadn't experienced any hiccups or stupid behavior from the Saviors.

 

 

  
"I'm sorry did you just make some stupid fucking comment about me holding up my end?"

 

  
"Just forget I said it okay?"

 

Instead of getting into an argument about it they both stood down and walked back together.

* * *

 

 

  
Rick leaned back in the pew with full intent of being relaxed for a moment or two. Sometimes it was easier to be somewhere other than his house since people go in and out. When he heard the doors open he knew it was Gabriel swinging by.

 

 

The priest sat down right beside him but kept a bit of distance. "I'm sorry if I'm interrupting your quiet time."

 

 

"It's alright Gabriel. All I'm doin' is just finding some time to catch my breath and I can't really do that back at the house. "

 

 

"Would you like to discuss whatever is troubling you? Don't think of it as confession or anything, it's just me lending an ear."

 

 

Rick almost rejected the offer but something was saying that he needed to speak - that he needed to let some of it out.

 

 

"Do you think less of me now that I'm sleeping with Negan to keep Alexandria safe?" Rick asked, he wouldn't hold it against Gabriel for thinking so.

 

 

Gabriel shook his head, "No, I don't."

 

 

"Even if I tell you that I enjoy it? That I actually feel any pleasure with him." Rick choked on the last few words because admitting that out loud so effortlessly was strange.

 

 

"I still don't think less of you, Rick. And I understand why your tone suggested that you hoped otherwise. You're so hard on yourself for all the decisions you have to make as a leader. Most decisions in this world are rarely ever weightless, we have more time to think of the things we've done. "

 

 

"What he's done to us..the people he's killed I just - I hate how it's become so easy to do this."

 

 

"You'll be okay and I know that because you're strong and you can't give up hope." Gabriel offered him a brief smile.

 

 

Rick desperately wanted to believe that he was strong or that he was ever strong in the first place. In the world they live in you have to have some modicum of strength or coast along in a group. He was lucky to even have people that he called family and that's who he was at least faking strength for. But until they came up with a plan that would bring Negan to his knees or at least bring about change - he had to stay still. He had to keep taking advantage of the deal for now.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> hope y'all enjoyed this! 
> 
>  
> 
> kudos, comments + bookmarks will always be appreciated.


End file.
